My then-boyfriend and I moved from San Diego to the Bay Area because his ex-wife and child had relocated to Oakland. I only knew him for five months, but I was young and in love and would have followed him anywhere. After we moved, he didn’t like me spending time on the phone with my family, or making friends at school, or talking to my co-workers about our relationship. The night he punched a hole in the wall and I fled, I had nowhere to go.
Those who have survived and escaped an abusive relationship are statistically likely to return to the abusive situation many times before completely separating. The reasons for returning are complex and vary from survivor to survivor, but one commonality is that victims of abuse are usually financially and emotionally dependent on the people who abuse them. A common tactic of abuse is social isolation. Like my ex, abs separate their victims away from their families and social connections, making it easier to control them. This is why it is crucial for states to enact legislation that allows survivors to reach out to people in their lives who might be outside of the traditional definition of family — like co-workers, teachers, friend or even extended family.
This is why state Sen. María Elena Durazo, D-Los Angeles, introduced Senate Bill 590, which is now before the Legislature. This bill adds “chosen family” to the list of people who can take paid family leave to care for a loved one with a serious health condition. Currently paid family leave defines family as a child, spouse, parent, grandparent, grandchild, sibling or domestic partner. A designated person, or chosen family member, encomes everyone else with a family-like relationship, like cousins, aunts and uncles, neighbors, friends or colleagues, who might need to take time off to care for a loved one.
This is a crucial distinction. Under the current law, a designated person can have their job protected to care for a loved one, but may not receive pay during this time. The California Family Rights Act, or CFRA, protects up to 12 weeks off work to care for a loved one, so eligible workers can take this time to care for anyone they consider family, regardless of their legal or biological relationship, who has a serious health condition. However, under the law, without paid family leave for chosen family, they are not guaranteed pay during this time off.
This bill is important to many non-traditional families across California. People who are part of the LGBTQ+ communities often rely on chosen family when caring for each other, and the same is true for immigrants and other people who may be isolated. This extends to survivors of violence and their families. Limiting the list of family who qualify for paid family leave limits the list of people that survivors can turn to during critical moments in their separation from their abs. Widening the paid family leave definition of family to include chosen family will prevent recurrence of abuse, because more survivors with serious health conditions will have someone to provide care for them.
If Senate Bill 590 es and becomes law, survivors who have been isolated from their direct family can more easily seek from other people in their lives, including family who are not listed in the law, like cousins or siblings-in-law. This will help survivors establish financial stability so they can focus on healing without needing to return to the people who abused them.
Follow Senate Bill 590 and advocate for your state legislators to take action to expand paid leave programs for survivors of violence and their families. Improving the system for survivors can save lives.
Gottschalk is a public voices fellow and a legal advocate with Legal Aid at Work. She lives in San Diego.
